Candy Hearts: Coz I Heart You

It's that holiday again that anti-capitalists (cheapskates) love to attack.

Personally, I think Valentines day is a great holiday for both singles and couples.

It's a great day to get free flowers and chocolates, whether from someone you love, have loved, a friend, a stalker or just someone who pities you.

Valentines day is a holiday that gives people free reign to go nuts.

Traffic is bad, all restaurants are booked, hotel reservations go up the roof! (Nine months later the hospital is spitting out babies by the millions. And we all wonder why so many infants are born in December....)

And here's the miracle: everyone puts up with it.

All in all, a pretty satisfying holiday. The women are apeased and the men are just glad to get things over with.

But just like all holidays, I think Valentines day should have greetings that should suit everyones needs. Since KinkXcakes is already covering the confections and those black and white greeting cards are doing the pessimists their trick, i'm going to help out the one thing left: candy hearts.

You gotta love candy hearts. They made it to taste so bad, you are just forced to preserve the sugary two-bit memories.

But while we've all had our share of "love me", "cuddle", "forever!" and the perenial "LOVE" with the heart symbol, some people have been denied the oppurtunity to communicate their feelings in this traditional fashion.

And with some people, candy hearts may be the only thing smarmy enough to catch their attention.

So here's my added list of hearts quotes. Just give me a year, some capital, and i'll make you a product that'll fit your needs and tastes good!


1. Stalker
-Because there is one in every corner.

2. Single
-I believe this one word is enough?

3. Just Friends
-Chicken...though convenient.

4. Chokehold
-For you. If you do not get away. From me.

5. Tazer
-Give only in dire situations. Unless you really own one, in which case go ahead and stun him.

6. Dud
-Mean? Nope, just straightforward.

7. NO