"Been so low that down looks up to me"

Today was the first day I had to "defend" to someone my decision to write.

It was rather surprising because it came from someone whom I thought would fully support me.

We were in my room, watching Lara monopolize my PC with Friendster when I told her that my contract would be ending and I would not stay beyond March. She gavethe usual panicked reaction and asked me what I wanted to do next, and I told her that I wanted to write.

But instead of saying "Wow", I got the evil eye--double evil eye when she learned that I wanted to write for TV.

"But why would you want to do that? Why not write something that has a point?"

I was so taken aback that I almost smirked in front of her.

The words may have smarted, but I understood her skepticism. The local showbiz isn't exactly spectacular. Mass entertainment can be divided into noontime variety shows and primetime soaps who can never seem to hit the mark--either with the acting, the lack of sets or crappy scripts. It's rare that you get a good combination of all of them, but it's common to have all elements turn to shit.

But despite everything, i'm willing to try because funny as it may seem, it's the only thing I can see myself doing right now.

"Why don't you do something worthwhile like investigative journalism instead and give up this showbiz thing"

Uhuh.

That's almost like telling a plastic surgeon that what he does is crap because he doesn't save lives like "real doctors".

The former may not be perceived to be as noble, but i'm pretty sure that they went to medschool and suffered all the same things as a resident.

In the same way that I may not be going around writing something for the news, but it doesn't mean that it's not really writing.

There's a lot of work that goes into writing, in whatever field it may be. And just because you write for a comic book or a tv show or the movies, it doesn't mean that you just sit in front of your PC and type up the images in your head and be happy to take peanuts every fifteen days.

No creative writer wants to be poor, but every creative writer wants to write. And in doing that, you have to start somewhere. Fortunately--or unfortunately--that somewhere happens to be episodic TV. It is a medium that give you stability and a decent pay... but also gives you a rather dumb reputation.

Even though I refrain from watching products of the local biz, even I have to admit there have been some incredibly good ones. And I refuse to believe that among the dozens of students of that film schools churn out every year, all of them turned out to be idiots. I'm not so high up my horse that I think i'll be some great revolutionary. There are some smart people writing for episodic TV, even if it is local episodic TV.

The state of journalism isn't so hot these days either...but then again, if you have USA Today as their model, you can see why.

What she said did hurt, which makes my family and friends support all the more valuable.

Writing is work.

I don't mind starting at the bottom just to write. I don't mind having to sit through a local opera just to see what the people want to see and see if you can inject the old with something new.

It sucks to know that 80% of the time you will get rejected, and what does get accepted will be altered so only about 30% of your original idea remains. It sucks to know that you won't get paid for close to six months. It sucks to know that when you do, you'll probably only be earning enough for gas and rent for the next year and a half.

But if you really want it, then the struggle won't seem as difficult. Everything is worth it, and all you can see is just a road complicated with a little bit of bad, that ultimately leads to something good.