Things you didn't need to know

So Luke Walton swims naked in their pool while his dad is being interviewed...by the New York Times no less.

That's a picture I could use to help me with my cosmo book.

That Britney Spears has the hots for Luke Walton...

Must she grab every hot guy on the planet? Not that I ever liked Justin Timberlake (somebody shoot him. PLEASE) I thought she was annoying when she was younger and still cute, but when she grew up to be a slut...when are we going to get her off the airwaves?

Two nights ago, I saw her MTV--Toxic--for the first time. Not to see her, but to see Martin Henderson (think: Noah from The Ring) whom I learned had a small cameo.

It's interesting to see how the blondes of the revival bubble era of the late nineties grew up and became...girls.

Christina Aguillera fought her cutesy girl image and finally let the genie out from the bottle and revealed that she'd always been Avril Levigne. Or rather, a skank. At least she can sing. In the war between Britney and Christina--which should now be moot--she always won in my book, even with the cutie songs. You really have to give points to the girl who has good vocals and actually compeses her own songs.

Britney...will hound us in our elevators in the future. Hers will be the voice that you will annoy you as you stand in line at the store, at the bank, on the phone just after you've dealt with machines and foaming at the mouth as you wait for human contact. There's a reason why Simon Cowell hates her. Heck, it's so obvious why everyone hates her...come to think of it, I don't think I know anyone who likes her...

My mom, who saw the video with me, asked me why she was doing all these "things". I told her that her fanbase had grown up and she had to grow up with them. "So her fanbase turned out to be prostitutes?" she asked me. And I had to say "No ma, and don't say that. The prostitutes would be insulted."

Then of course, we have the two runner ups: Mandy Moore and Jessica Simpson. Those two are the poster children of synthesized and repackaged bubble gum pop.

Mandy Moore is finally moving out of her singing days and branching out into acting, now only doing cover songs to intriduce to a very gullible American teen public who were bred on all things post grunge. Granted, she's a decent actress who could emerge to be a good one. After the Wahlbergs, I try not to knock Poppers turned actors until the curtain falls. Marky Mark got lucky with Boogie Nights, but to have Donnie crawl out of New Kids On The Block...now that's talent.

Jessica Simpson...must be having a blast in her head. Ever have those days when you think "Life would be so much simpler if I had been blissfully ignorant"? Well, that's Jessica Simpson.

She did a decent job in her own role in That 70's Show, but since she played a bubbleheaded blonde it makes you wonder whether or not she was acting at all.

It would have helped if she was nice or had some talent, but i've seen no indication of that in the show whatsoever. But all of that could have been cut out from clever editing--the niceness, not the talent. I could walk in any Karaoke bar here in the Philippines and find someone who could do a pleasant if a better rendition of her songs.

It took the public nearly ten years to finally get sick of Mariah Carey. And it took Mariah ten years to finally get sick and take a break--we were beginning to wonder if you were human.

Since Britney has a quarter of her talent and isn't even close to her in looks (have you seen Beyonce, girl?) this tour could very well be her last. And may we finally see her albums in the remainder bin.

Though after Luke Walton, I wonder whom she'll claim to want next? We've seen her ask for Kasey Montero, HRH Prince William, Colin Farell...maybe, just for variety, she'll break up marriages and go for Brad Pitt. Or someone older, like Tom Cruise. Or maybe someone younger, like that kid from Malcom in the Middle.

The sad part is, even though she's leaving, Britney's kid sister is growing up to be like her. The good part is, bubble gum is out, and soul, jazz, and classic rock revivals are in.

I'd rather take Glam Rock than another dose of bubblegum pop.