I'ma do what?!..

Through sheer will, I managed to sit down and complete the storyline for my script. So now I have a stack of index cards with scene treatments that are just waiting for me to expand it with dialogue, which will make it resemble something of a movie, which will hopefully be picked up by some studio out there.

I was all set to do some heavy duty research at Luis' call center--with just three hundred fucking bucks in my pocket--but he told me to buckle down and finish my cosmo book first.

I've been bouncing between these two projects ever since I discovered that I didn't have ten hands, five brains, and the creative prowess of Neil Simon, which caused me to whittle things down.

The cosmo projects was first in line, so it was suggested that I finish that first. Which is okay--i'd been stuck in a rut, but after coming into a particular revelation my life, I managed to write the first dramatic hurdle and just move on.

It's probably a good idea that I write this first, because for the life of me, I'm finding it difficult to write in Filipino, even in Taglish. So I'm talking to some of my friends in Filipino now, just to practice.

Another stunning revelation was also my aunt asking me to drop my accent in order to make it into TV.

If she wasn't sick and older, I probably would have yelled a crapper at her. It doesn't help that my "inner voice" has been particularly foul-mouthed these days.

First off, I don't have any plans to be on television. I don't want to host my own show, be a reporter, a VJ, or anything. At the most, i'd probably love to do a car show or a gear show, but only if I can trash the things that have shitty reviews (I'm not kidding)

I don't know if it's the result of my birthday approaching, or just me getting sick and tired of people thinking I was "sweet" and "fragile" and end up being disappointed when they found out i'm not.

It bothers me that some people confuse thoughtfulness with sweetness, especially when their idea of it is very different.

So I have an accent, so I have a mouth. I don't really like to cuss, but I do when I try and make a point. It's language, it's words, and I'd like to think that i'm free to use them at my disposal.

The whole thing was just bizarro. I don't know why my aunt is pushing for me to be on TV or even radio. I've long since realized that although my humor is appreciated, it's not for public consumption. You don't know when some over-zelous Bible thumper will show up, and all you need is one to ruin the whole mood.