Work

Jean, a former co-worker, called today to ask me to come down tothe office and sign my severance check and other documents.

I told her that i'd try and make it tomorrow morning, since I was going out. She seemed rather pissed by it--or it could be just her, since she sounds pissed even if she's not. She called back to tell me that I could do everything today. I had to inform her that I couldn't and she asked me why--like she needed to know--and I told her that I had something else to do.

In fact, I told her that I have a weekly schedule, that some dates are now planned days in advance.

Jean is a little dim, but it still surprised me when she had to ask why.

...

Some people think that writing is easy, that we just sit here and churn out ideas from the top of our heads.

Not as easy.

Sure, you're doing something that you love, you just sit home and 't telecommute, blah blah blah, but when you're writing for money, you also have to remember that you are writing for work. That it is a job. And as with most jobs, schedules have to be implemented.

Maybe it's not as rigorous as a nine to fiver, but you'll have to impose some sort of work ethic, otherwise you'll just be sitting there doing "Nethack" for the rest of the day.

There's a lot of brainstorming involved, a lot of nitpicking. Then comes research, which takes a long time, depending on what you're writing. You have to deal with frustration on not being able to get what you want out of your head, or the realities that you have no idea just how to put into paper what it is that you want to say.

When you have to deal with words and scenes and thoughts that just seem to bleed together.

...

You have to be crazy to write sometimes, and the amount of discipline that comes with it is sometimes overwhelming. There is a thin line of sanity and creativity that you have to walk on, and the balance is not always easy to maintain. If you are serious in what you want, then you have to give it a little bit of reasonable thinking to be able to deliver.

It may seem overdramatic, but this is pretty much what runs in your head. And right in the middle of it all, you suddenly remember that there are bills to pay, there is reality to deal with, and you have to find a paying gig.

...

I count myself lucky that I don't have to pay for my own necessities. I don't have to buy groceries, or pay utilities or rent.

I wouldn't know what i'd be like if I were saddled with all those and be forced to write for a living. It's do-able, but it's hard. And there's no shame in admitting hardships in your life, but it does hurt ones ego.

And an ego is a luxury that a lot of struggling writers just cannot afford.