Just got back from the meeting from purgatory.

I learned a lot from the DOH expert. I was impressed that she came all the way here herself. It was embarassing as hell that the only people she had to meet was us, but I didn't have any qualms about it at all. She seemed a bit elitist, but she was cool in my book. I think it's because I'm used to these kinds of people.

The only thing I really am sorry about is the fact that we served crappy food.

The shabby choc chips and the juice boxes worked the last time, but it really isn't a good idea to feed it to the bigwigs. Note to self: next time serve muffins. It should tide over quite nicely. Or cakes.

Anyway, the rest of the world is off practicing for the upcoming x-mas party.

And since I am still being considered as a pariah by the tribal olds--not elders, just old I am down here continuing my research for the ISWM bluebook.

The truth is, I really couldn't care less. It's not that I am sourgraping, I just don't like the fucking dance that they would have assigned me. (or have thought of assigning me)

I don't even know "spaghetti" and there is no way in hell that I will get up there and do "otso-otso".

Maybe it's a bit of a killjoy, but I think some dances have to stop at some point. If I don't allow my niece to dance otso-otso, what would it say if I did? It's a disgusting dance and I will not take part in any of it.

If they want me to swing then I will. It's a simple step. But I will not take part in any of those crappy dances that they insist the kids on doing since they lack the flexibility to fucking do it themselves. One word for you people: YOGA. Or better yet: DIET.

Or here is a sentence: Better and healthier living so you can fucking get off my back and get better entertainment rather than GOSSIP.

Like I said, work would have been bliss if only I didn't have to work with other people. And the office ancients have set-up a gestapo enough to knock the socks out of any reasonable bitch.

Good thing I am not a reasonable bitch.

Oh hey, Xarra just sent me this text: "The virtue of friendship isn't finding the perfect friend, but by loving the imperfect friend perfectly. True friendship doesn't have a happy ending, it simply doesn't end..."

Oh-kay...is this the part where I cry?

Things have been somewhat strained since our aborted Nov. 11 vacation. The whole issue with Christine screwed things up, but considering things...we've adjusted quite nicely to the lack of Christine's presence in our lives. It isn't easy, but considering how things turned out between me and Christine...we did an admirable job of handling the situation.

...

Truth is, despite her reduced presence, Christine is still my friend. It's more like...her job description has just changed.

Mark once asked me if I'd consider "being friends again" with Christine. I told him that at this point, it would be too presumptuous of me to ever turn away a friend, but things would never be as they were before. Things have changed too much for us to be like "sisters".

Having said this, he asked me why the hell was I even considering Christine as my friend again if I didn't trust her.

...

The reality is...I don't know. I have this small pocket of hatred in my heart that will take a long time to disappear. It's true that the people you love the most are the ones most capable of hurting you.

I was hurt by this. I still hurt. The hurt makes me not care about what happens to this person who I cared for. That thought alone is disturbing.

I don't know how to deal with this kind of insensitivity. But I am learning everyday how to live my new life, because it truly is a new life.

Yesh, maybe next year will be better.