BeetleBugged

VW Beetle owners are like no other. You either love `em or hate `em, there is no middle ground.

When you love a beetle, your affection can go a long way, like the brand itself. You may hate the other cars (nothing, after all, can compare to a Beetle) but seeing the words VW has certainly heightened your senses.

So imagine my surprise when I saw the latest VW news delivered to me by the New York Times:

2004 Volkswagen Phaeton V-8: A People's Car for Wealthy People

PERHAPS you trailed the Grateful Dead in a paisley-painted Microbus, or crammed the whole family, with luggage, into a Beetle taxi in Mexico. Maybe you and a buddy recreated that da-da-da commercial for the Golf, cruising aimlessly and picking up discarded furniture.

Whatever richly memorable experiences you may have had in a Volkswagen, you probably did not have them in a memorably rich Volkswagen. That may soon change. After decades as an icon of the counterculture and a symbol of sensible chic, VW has elitist aspirations. Its latest model, the 2004 Phaeton, goes where no Jetta dared to tread.

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My friend Enid is a Jetta fan, and i've given the vintage Kharmann Gia's more than a gaze, but this just blows me out.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that VW has gone deluxe. Considering the cushy price tag, I almost expected the thing to have jets. I mean, where the hell where they stashing all that money? This is the people's car, where economy isn't a bad word but something to be revered.

But I looked and there it was: a Benz masquerading in a VW decal.

It has the length, the looks, the style, the creature comforts and the interiors. Heck, it even eats as much gas and has nearly the same price.

Know what's wrong with it?

It's just not the Benz.

VW People! What are you doing!