OPTIONS

For the first time in a long time, I have options. Choices. The oppurtunity to make decisions that will help me move my life forward in the direction that I want it to.

My life has pretty much been a conveyor belt since I left school. It was moving from one situation to another, just trying to get somewhere, anywhere. Maybe my life didn' seem as destitute to most people, but getting away from "day to day" and onto "the lesser evil" took a long while.

Now...well, now I at least ask "which one is better?"

Of course, it still a long way off from where I really would like to be. I'm not even halfway there. As Luis put it, I got my big toe on the door, so even if i'm not completely in, at least the door is now open for me.

It's strange, getting...here.

Writing for movies. I never once saw myself doing this. I mean, I saw myself writing, since I love it, but writing for a living? Holy cow, what a privilage.

Just the idea that people liked my work was great, to have them ask for my work...it's the best feeling ever.

So great flying aside...here comes the hard work.

I've got two script options for a short--for free, and a book option--also for free. Which means, I will be peddling my work for no pay for a couple of months and wait for the returns. Not everyone can be Stephen King or Micheal Crichton and ask for an advance, though I'm lucky that I don't have to chip in for the production costs for the movie and just have to pay for my own damage fees as I write the book. Hopefully, some rich philantrophist friend will see my suffering give me a lift to places (or allowance, I really need allowance)

Such is the life of the starving writer.

I still have enough in the bank to support myself for the next few months, but just to pad expenses and have some semblance of savings in the bank, I do still have to work part time in a coffee shop. Besides, the need for some new electronics has just gone higher.

I'm not in the stage of needing a laptop yet--at this moment, I just need a PDA with a lot of storage--but I can honestly say that I am at least getting there.

I'll be doing a lot of writing out of home, maybe some travelling. I still like writing on paper, but having to lug around my index cards and development notes and reams of legal pads can be...annoying. Which means, I have to save up to buy a decent laptop in order for me to work on the go.

Maybe it's their way of payment, but the director of the scrips i'm about to use has asked me if I could be on set when they shoot. Usually, directors hate it when writers are on the set, and so do most writers. It's usually frustrating for the writer when they see the dailies and it turns out to be completely different from the image that they formed in their own heads when they were writing it.

And the same goes to the director for when the writer goes to him to argue.

It's like the situation my friend had on his roommates for the workshop.

The directors class at the workshop had the good fortune of being able to room together (one that me and my writer pals could have used, since we were slaving over scripts for the better part of most nights) Or was it?

Two out of the four students had the egos the size of Voyager.

It was like rooming Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. Or Scorsese and Coppola. They could not understand each others (in their opinion, brilliant) directions.

It was hell on their roommates, but it was entertaining for the rest of us to watch. It's like Celebrity Death Match--live action!

One of them eventually got frustrated and went home, and the other one...well, he ended up facing my wrath.

Frustration is one of the worse emotions. From my experience, it's the only one that can make you feel so mad and helpless that you'd feel happy if you could chew off your own hand.