Is This a Joke?

I'm addicted to imdb. I swear. I have to use it for my job, to play six degrees of Kevin Bacon, or just to find out if that blonde in sitcom A was the same girl from that drama b that I saw during the 1980's.

So i'm always there. I zone out there. The facts of the stars relaxes me...

Out of bored and dumb curiousity, I decided to check on Jessica Simpson and found this:

Though she plays a dumb blonde on her hit TV show, according to the August issue of Vanity Fair, her I.Q is in the 160s. That would place her in the "genius" area and she could apply for a membership to the brainiac club Mensa.

Wow Jessica, if that is true, where did all those points go? Your hair? Do you bust a few when you sing high octaves?

Or could it be--gasp!--that all that crap in the Newlyweds is just for show? That she's really just pretending to be a dumb blonde (Oh God, I can't look)

My mom--who is fond of her "antics"--defends her by saying she spent most of her life working and not really focused on studying. Kind of like leaving a kid in the wild, eating nothing but berries and being raised by apes.

You have your average American youth left to the mercy of pop culture...so this is what happens? Shit, and here I was expecting something like Nell.

She went to high school, she must have absorbed something there. I mean, with a 160 IQ, you would have at least figured out that if you take a hansom cab in New York, it will stop at a red light, and it does so when a driving pulls on these leather straps called reigns.

I'm baffled, I truly am. I mean, I don't expect to do cure cancer, invent a theorem or even write a critical play. I just want to see her speak Enlgish or figuring out that a pedicure, manicure, and a full body massage takes more than an hour. Or that dry cooking mushrooms need to be...well, cooked.

Maybe she's good friends with the writer...maybe she's got one hell of a publicist...

Or maybe it's her plan.

To make everyone including her husband think that she's dumb. To sing cover songs while caressing herself just to get you to buy them. Then actually acting dumb on TV shows and Movies, then getting a nice MTV contract to convince even more people that you're a moron.

Then, when we're all convince, when we least expect it...she'll drop the bomb and actually say she's smart.

Like, really smart. Like, she's built a bomb. Like, a nuclear bomb. Like, to kill us with. Like, to rule the world.