Bloody Red Carpet

Last Saturday, Laarni and I got all dolled up to go to the 28th Gawad Urian Awards which is the Philippine version of the Critics Choice Award.

It was fun, exhausting, and exciting as hell.

We received the invite the eve before the event, spent the following day shopping for a dress and getting our hair and make-up done, then tackling the torrentous rains that followed just to get to the event.

We got there right as it was about to start and ended up having a superbly inspiring time. The mother of the guy who co-produced the movie that won best picture was sitting right next to me. She kept crying because the movie took ten years to finish (it was Rebolusyon ng Pamilyang Pilipino by Lav Diaz, who also won best script even if there was none)

Her son dropped by the orchestra after he won to leave his awards with his parents, and we were drooling just by looking at the trophy.

Ah, so near yet so far away.

We left as soon as the Best Actress Award was given away, because our ride was already waiting for us and we absolutely had to go.

It was an amazing night, plus the lady sitting next to me (the mom!) said I had pretty feet which is one of my biggest insecurities.

Laarni and I went home, smiling like we'd just won something and vowing to just go for it.

I can't quit my job yet, I still need the money for this month. But as soon as I make the upgrade and bank enough to pay for my net bill, it's buh-bye first job.

I have two screenplays lined up to be written, one with a full storyline up for a draft and rewrite, and another a treament up for expansion.

Both are way overdue, and if it weren't for the money, i'd be hammering away right now.

Looking at it, I could quit my other job right now and it would be okay. But another months worth of salary won't be too bad, and I just...I have no idea how to send in my notice. I've just been in this job a total of three months and i'm already moving on.

I thought i'd last longer, but somehow it just isn't a fit. Hopefully, I will be paid the remaining balance that he has with me (which will take care of my net-bills for the rest of the year!)

I'm really excited with moving on.

I've got a ton of things to do, and since I already have that crew attached, I am itching to begin that journey.

I was initially afraid to make the sacrifice, but there are people counting on me now, so it's easier to let go of some things. The pressure is much higher for me to produce that first draft, and for the first time in months i'm welcoming it.

I guess being at the awards, and just...realizing what I truly want, despite the money, makes pushing myself much easier.

I don't know what will happen in the coming months, but I have a feeling that it will be all good.